When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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