we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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