WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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