Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize