We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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