It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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