if you like me you must not know who I am
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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