My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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