well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize