I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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