she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize