I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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