We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize