Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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