I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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