Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize