3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Watching her eat just hurts me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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