Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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