I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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