If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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