If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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