i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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