shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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