wake up i wanna do it froggy style
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize