youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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