I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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