Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize