thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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