i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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