so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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