I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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