broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize