Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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