i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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