I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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