But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize