I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize