They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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