exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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