took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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