You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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