my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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