on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just high enough for therapy.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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