You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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