peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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