Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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