Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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