dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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