Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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