so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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